I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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