The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
