where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
