FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
