found the other keg... it's in the tree
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
