i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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