stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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