the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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