btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
