Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
