i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
