Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've blown a few things in my day
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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