we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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