When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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