you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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