Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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