apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize