I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
