we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
