Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I love how my cats smell like pot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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