All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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