I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
