just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
