Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
