I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
