So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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