I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
