bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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