You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
