there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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