well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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