Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
