i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
