I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
