If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
