i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
