Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
