i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
