did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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