piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
