I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cockslap morals
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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