I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
