I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
