Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
