Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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