There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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