his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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