By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
