last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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