After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
